For those of you wonder if miracles still happen, I want to share two awesome stories that happened to my immediate family just recently.

The kids and I were getting ready to take baby Akuino to the Luau for his fundraiser. Everyone was running in every direction trying to get on their costumes etc. Ky Ky, one of the youngest, woke from his nap and wandered into the kitchen and grabbed the iron off the board. Although it had been unplugged, it was still very hot, hot enough to make a perfect impression on his hand, leaving blisters. Needless to say he was screaming and we immediately took care of it and bandaged it up.

Joley, (Kicker) was over for a visit and laid hands on him and began praying for God to heal our sweetheart. Within seconds KyKy was slain in the Spirit and stayed out for about two hours. We went on to the Luau and when he awoke he was perfectly fine. We unwrapped his hands and there wasn't even a mark on his hand where the blisters were. We give God the glory.

In the Valley of the Shadow of Death

Sitting here trying to put words to such a painful ordeal is undoubtedly one of the more difficult things I have been asked by the Lord to do.

Anyone who loves a child knows the depth of that love is endless and to describe it seems impossible. What I will share with you both the joy and the sorrow will are very difficult to describe but I will give it my best.

On the Sunday before Thanksgiving my family awoke to a busy Sunday with the smell of turkey filling the air. This was to be the day we served Thanksgiving dinner to our Homeless brothers and sisters. We look forward to this every year. Thanksgiving after all is our Anniversary and so we not only celebrate the blessings we have all received from the Lord, but celebrate the fact that we have been able, by the grace of God to continue feeding each week no matter the numbers, no matter the weather and have never run out of food, nor have lacked for anything.

So, in the hustle and bustle of getting the food prepared just before the 16 of us run off to Mass our peace and joy were completely destroyed when we found our sweet Pudgey, 14 months old, floating face down in our swimming pool.

The horror of this cannot be related in words. I was only ten feet away from him with my back turned cleaning a pot and had no idea that he was there struggling beneath the cold water. The gate normally locked had been opened by one of the children and he had slipped by me.

We ran to the pool and lifted Pudgey's lifeless body from the water. Immediately I began CPR and cried out for then to call 911. David, awoken from a sound sleep, came rushing to my side. The children were all crying as we prayed for God to give us back our son in between each breath.

Truly, in my mind I felt I was holding the Christ child. His precious, lifeless body was dangling somewhere between here and Heaven. I knew as water was pouring from his mouth and no heart beat was present, that I may be faced with the death of our son.

With each breath I envisioned Mary at the foot of the Cross, holding a lifeless Jesus. I prayed that I would understand God's will in this be it he survived or died.

Suddenly we heard a faint cry as the last of the water spilled from his mouth. That sound I will never forget as long as I live. We raced out front to await the ambulance. A helicopter was to air lift him but could not get here in time.

Once the ambulance arrived and they took him from my arms, I wondered if I would ever see him alive again. I literally hung on to the back of the ambulance door as it closed in my face.

The ambulance driver was compassionate and let me ride along with him in the ambulance. I could hear his cries and praised God for each and every one. Once at the hospital we were informed that he was hypothermic and was showing signs of brain damage. Posturing, as they call it, is a position the body gets into once it has sustained damage. Pudge's body temperature had dropped to 91 degrees. He shook violently and stared blankly into space. He couldn't suck on his pacifier, was not responding to pain and didn't seem to realize I was holding him.

It didn't dawn on me until after they took him for a Cat Scan that although he may have been brought back to life, he may very well never wake from that depth which he had fallen. I was distraught but asked the Lord to guard my thought and focus my prayers. David sobbed a prayer beseeching that God would grant him healing and would return our Sunshine just as he was.

I wonder if Mary too wondered if Jesus would return as He said. From that place where deaths' chill covers their body it is difficult to fathom that such a miracle could take place. Faith however, is believing in things unseen and in trusting that God's will is ultimately divine. I asked the Lord to forgive my fear and trembling and to send us his Holy Spirit, the Comforter to help us endure what lay ahead.

Pudge was taken back to the Intensive Care Unit and lay there so still. He still didn't know me, nor want me to comfort him. I looked at one point at David laying across his lifeless body and it broke my heart to think that all our love and good intentions for the children we have taken into our homes and moreover our hearts, may very well be twisted into a long, drawn out battle to prove we are not negligent foster parents who didn't care enough to insure the safety of the child in their custody. News print and careless journalism could have portrayed such a lie. For Dave and I love this child as if we had given him life. He is the 'diamond' in our family. The one who shines the brightest and brings the most joy. Hands down we all love him so.

Just weeks before this accident occurred, two of my dear friend had lost loved ones. One, a husband who was so gentle and loving that this loss has left a heart in pieces. The second was a brother who was so blessed to be loved and cared for by his sister up until his death one week prior to the drowning. This particular man was not an acquaintance of mine, yet his sister lovingly feeds the homeless with me each Sunday.

On the day of his death he kept repeating to his sister these words, " I have to go and save the baby, I have to go now and save the baby."

She had no idea what he was referring too, yet knew he had been a fire and rescue man in his day. She assumed until the moment she received the call regarding Pudgey drowning, that he was hallucinating. Now, we know better.

I had shared with each of them during their time of grief that God would use this experience and turn it to light. That he would use them to one day heal a broken heart who is suffering in the same way. I truly believe that God turns all things for the good, for those who love and serve Him and are called according to His purpose.

Who did I find as I walk out of Intensive Care, but both of these woman. As they hugged me I was reminded of what I had said to them. Little did I know that day that I was preparing them to comfort me.

The song "On Eagles Wings" came alive to me at that moment

"And He will raise you up, on eagles wings. Bare you on the breath of. Make you to shine like the sun. And hold you in the palm of His hand."

I felt like a bird that had fallen from the nest and they were there to be my wings and help me up again.

As the morning turned to afternoon, our friends began arriving in droves. People filled the hallways and you could hear prayers being uttered in every corner. The staff of the hospital were so kind. They never forced any of them to leave. Most hovered by the window. You could see Pudge lying there and that was it.

A dear Priest came in to and asked if he could baptize him. We were very happy to say yes. Our son, only days away from the finalization of his adoption into our family, had never been baptized. Father both baptized and confirmed our little Jewish son, Cody Russell Antonio. The physician in charge came in and spoke with Dave and I , telling us that it was all a waiting game at this point. That the damage he sustained under the water had been done and we now had to basically wait and see what's left.

I was so afraid I had seen that smile for the last time and that his famous, 'Oggle Boggle' sound would never again grace our ears and bring laughter to our home.

David cane back into the room and knelt beside Cody and I. As I rocked him I began to sing his favorite song, Mai le taelle O Lou Fatu, which means "from the depths of my heart, I love you." I reached down and went to remove one of his Band Aids and suddenly he began to cry which meant he once again responded to pain.

Then he looked up and smiled and said, " HI!!"

Needless to say - REJOICING filled the hospital. Tears of joy were falling like rain. He hugged my neck and at that moment I knew he had been given a second chance at life and that Dave, the kids, our friends and now all of you will share in the joy that is truly what Christmas is all about.

Jesus is alive and well and is living in the manger of our hearts.

He actively pursues us, loving cares for us and endlessly desires for us to be with him both now and at the hour of death.

Not everyone who has suffered this type of tragedy have come away holding their child in their arms. So, I thank God for the gift of my son. I thank Him for sparing me the sorrow of regret, the constant guilt of 'what if'.

I know the ever present reality that until our children are fully adopted that at any moment of any day someone could come and take them away. As we endure the endless barrage of questions to help them determine if we are guilty of child neglect I ask the Lord to take these stripes and use them to strengthen me for what lies ahead.

Merry Christmas my friends, and may God bless you and your loved ones.

Kristin, December 1999